Struggle

I find myself all the time telling God how much I love Him in my prayers but when it comes to my actions, it sometimes feels like I don’t truly trust Him to do what He has promised to do for me. Here is where I am today on that subject and maybe you are too. I tell God I love Him all the time but I still have fear, worries and doubts sometimes. I find myself questioning God at times and trying to figure out what He is doing in my life or Am I doing what He wants me to do. Am I in His will? And then there’s this whole sin problem. Habitual sin, my thoughts at times, and then just outbursts of anger, madness, and uncertainty. Sometimes life is truly maddening. But everyday I’m telling God I love Him and everyday I’m doing the things I don’t want to do. I’m saying things I don’t want to say. Being hurtful to the ones closest to me. Getting angry and taking my feelings out on other people who don’t deserve it. Spreading rumors, gossiping and talking way too much, not loving much, jealous, hateful, stingy, rude and just mean spirited. If we truly love God like we say we do, these feelings, emotions and actions should be much less destructive than before we got saved.

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